Had a conversation with one of my long time colleagues about the roller coaster of her emotions as she noticed the accumulation of what she called disatisfying things in her life. Why wasn’t she attracting the fulfilling instead?!
This was my reply:
I have come across situations like the one you describe in my one-on-one sessions, and have noticed that most folks (including yours truly) go through a period of deconstruction, followed by a fallow period, before anything new can sprout. We get impatient and upset with ourselves when we go through anything but the ‘everything is fine’ part of this natural/universal cycle, and start creating a snowball effect where the more we try to be what we used to be before the ‘change’, the more difficulties we attract. There may be very little gold left in the gold mine, and yet we keep going down the shaft.
Easy to say that the key is to let go. It seems to most of us that what we need is, on the contrary, to just get back on track, try harder, get our act together. But…. the irony is, you can’t get your act together, cause you aren’t the same person you were when you started on this journey! Different modes of being are required, different thoughts. These can’t be forced, like potting a plant and standing over it and saying ‘Grow now!’ During the chaotic times, anything you can do that makes you feel human is good. Doing activities that really nourish us + spending time with ourselves seem to be the two things my clients and friends say work for them. I’ll send you the link to my podcasts once edited next week. You may just recognize some patterns…
Finally, what I will say about our profession as freelancers, is that our passion and energy is what drives us and attracts clients to us. It’s not only our skill. What experience am I creating for my clients when they are in my presence? Do I like what I am doing with them? Do I burst with new ideas? If not, maybe my mine is empty.
I know my new endeavours require that I find a new mine. I’ll make it diamonds this time!