As I get ready to leave my home and native land (or at least the land I have spent close to five decades criss-crossing!) I am conscious of all I need to leave behind.
It’s not just that I am packing some belongings and leaving others behind forever …or for a few years. It’s not even that I am leaving loved ones behind –although that does hurts. It’s that I am leaving in the dust of departure the only identity I thought I had.
In a city where I rarely go anywhere without encountering a familiar face, I had built an identity that was maintained in place by the circles I belonged to of family, friends, clients, colleagues. The Ottawa Dominique was always dressed professionally, always ready to engage with others, always working hard and acting responsibly. I believed all those things people said about me, became all those things people thought about me!
I will be thousands of miles away in a few days. When I reach my destination, I get to actually choose what I want to be. Will I repeat what I know or break the mould?! I notice that I have spent the last few months in Ottawa trying to hold on to a corporate identity that no longer fits. I have also tried to set up a family safety net, without me (the leader) actually being present! Goodness girlfriend, let it go. Leave it behind. Give the biggest benefit of the doubt you can possibly give to yourself and to others. They will grow and I will grow. Let go of the plan, let go of the formula for certainty.
Just let go!