No going back

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Today, I am reminded of a conversation I had with my colleague Chris (we are co-writing what we hope will take the shape of a book!) about how when you have changed your outlook or paradigm, there is no going back. Chris saw this as both a positive and negative development. Who wouldn’t have trepidations about not being able to go back ‘home’, wherever home is metaphorically. We talked about people we loved who had attempted to break out of their pattern, only to fall back into the same familiar place — which can only be described as hell when you have left it for a while! Before we got too depressed, we started musing about ways in which neither of us had gone home and yet, lived to tell the tale.

Since this is my blog, I will speak of not being able to ‘go back’ in my chosen profession. Can’t say it feels comfortable. Actually, it is downright scary! Up to now, my work has grown gingerly along with me. As a result, I have been able to contribute to the well-being of people in organizations, while supporting myself and my family. For this I am forever grateful.

What I realize today, and felt coming for the last year, is that I need to be bolder about my next iteration. While it is still about learning and facilitation, I acknowledge that my endeavours will only feed my soul if I can empower others to fuel their own personal transformation. What I am trying to say is that I want to focus exclusively on people, their lives, their relationships, their creative endeavours, and not on the content of their work. I am leaving to some highly respected colleagues work in process, planning, structures and systems. Also, learning/training in skills that are not related to emotional intelligence and growth. I realize I don’t want rooms full of people who don’t want to be there. What I am passionate about is helping people help themselves.

When I read what I have written I wonder why, in the moment, it felt like a big shift. It feels quite ordinary now, so I must have crossed the point of no return.